分卷阅读4（1 / 2）

Thereseemedtobeanemphasisonthewordeveryone,butHarrydecideditwasimagined.Still,thewordheldweight.

Hewasn’thonoringthelifetheyhadallowedhimbylosingtheirs.Hewaswallowing.Heknewhewaswallowing.Andtheworstpartofitallwasthatsomepartofhismindfeltthathecouldjustifyit.HeknewSiriuswouldn’twanthimtowallow.Hisparentswouldn’twanthimto,norwouldFred,norwouldTonksorLupin.Andshouldn’tthatbeenough?Butthenagain,whatwouldDracoMalfoywant?WouldheliketoseeHarrysulkingbecauseofhim?Perhapshewouldsmirkandsay“Ah,Potter,Ineverknewyoucared,”inthatinfuriatingbutsowellpracticedpatronizingtoneofhis.Andthen,whenHarrythoughtofmovingon,hecouldonlyimaginethewoundedlookonMalfoy’sface,theonethathewantedyoutothinkwaspretendbutwasreallymoreclosetothetruththanhecaredtoadmit.Andinaflatvoice,whichwasalwaysworsecomingfromMalfoy(hisaciditywascomforting),hewouldsay“Sosoon,Potter?Careful,orpeoplewillthinkyou’rehappyaboutit.”

Harrywastrying.HewastryingtoconvincehimselfthatMalfoywouldn’tcareatall.Anditwasn’tsosoon.Ithadnearlybeenfouryears.Everyone,evenMalfoy’sownmother,seemedtobefaringbetterthanHarry.

“Ifyoucouldtellme,”McGonagallinterruptedhisthought,“beforetheendofthisterm,Iwouldappreciateit.JustsoIcanfindareplacementshouldyourefuse,orsoyoucouldstartyourstudiesshouldyouaccept.Ibelievetherearestillsomelessonplansleftintheclassroomfrompreviousteachersshouldyouneedreference,althoughIwouldbegyoutorefrainfromusingtoomanyofLockhart’s.IknowLupinleftafew,aswell,whichIthinkIwouldencourage.”

Harrynodded,feelingabitoverwhelmed.

“IwasalsourgedbyHagridtoremindyouthathewouldbehappytoseeyouagain.Evenofferedtobakeyouabirthdaycakethisyearshouldyoubeonthegrounds,”McGonagalladded,andwiththistherewasagleamofmischiefinhereye.

Itwashalfpastoneinthemorning.Harryhadfallenintoaterriblesleeppattern,spendingmostofhistimealone,whichhefoundwaseasiertodowhennooneelsewasawaketobotherhim.Tonight,hefeltlikehewouldratherliketosleep,butithadbecomeanimpossibility.Hogwartshadalwaysbeenmoreofahometohimthananyotherplacehehadlived,evennow,havinglivedatGrimmauldPlaceforseveralyears.Buttheageoldphrase“youcannevergohomeagain”rangthroughhisheadattheprospectofreturning.Andintruth,hecouldn’t.Hewouldreturnthistimeasateacher,notastudent.Mostofthepeoplethatmadeithomeweregone,aswell.Dumbledorewouldnotbethere,outsideofhisportrait.NeitherwouldanyoftheWeasleys,orHermione,or—histrainofthoughtsputteredtoastop.OrDraco.HewasmildlyalarmedthatMalfoywasincludedinthelistofpeoplethatmadethecastleahome,asformostofhislifehehadregardedhimwiththesamedistasteashehadDudley,butevenmoreso,hewasstartledbytheworditself.Hehadthought“orDraco.”Fullstop.Period.Heknewformalitydidn’tmatterinhisownmind,buthehadneverbeenDracotoHarry.Harryhadneveronceeventhoughttorefertohimbyhisfirstname.Hewasn’tentirelysurehehadeverevensaiditaloudonitsown.

“Draco,”hewhispered,barelyanoise,yetalltooloudinhisquiethouse.Thewordfeltoddinhismouth.Hischesttightenedinexplicablyandhefoughttheurgetocry.Heshookhishead,tryingtoclearthefeeling.

Hecametoadecision.Hecouldnotbesatathome,alone,whisperingadeadboy’snameinhiskitchen.Surely,afewmonthsmoreofthisandhewouldbecompletelymad.

HejotteddownanoteandwhistledforBo?tes,whoheheardrufflehisfeathersintheotherroomandthencameflyingthroughthedoorway.

HetiedthenotetoBo?tes’sleg,thenstoppedtoscratchthetopofhisowl’shead.

“Takethisto,McGonagall,wouldyou?Maybetakealookintheowlerywhileyou’rethere.You’llbespendingquitealotoftimethereIimagine,”hemurmured,slippingBo?tesatreat.

Maybeitwastrue.Maybehecouldnevergohome,buthell,ifhewasn’tgoingtotry.

Chapter3

“DidItellyouMr.PotterwillbereturningtoHogwarts?”McGonagallaskedcasually,sippingherteaatherdesk.

Dracochokedonthemouthfulofteahehadbeenswallowing.

“Excuseme?”hesaid,tryingnottosoundtooshocked.

“IaskedhimtofilltheDefenseposition,”McGonagallcontinued,seeminglyoblivioustoDraco’sshock.