分卷阅读48（1 / 2）

Honestly?Dracohadnofuckingclue.Theonlythingheknewwas,hishearthadneverfeltthisfull;neverhadhebeenalmostmovedtotearsbythesimplicityofspokenwords.

Potter’sfingerswerestilltwistedinhishair,histhumbstrokinghisforehead.Fearinghe’dbetoochokedupifhewaitedanylonger,DracoleanedforwardandcapturedPotter’slipswithhis.

Itwasstrange,howdifferentkissingPotterfeltinthatmoment;asthoughallthesedifferentkindsofemotionsrushingthroughhimhadsuddenlyfoundawayoutofhisbody.Theywerealmosttangibleonhisskin.Andonhislips,hecouldalmosttastethesweetnessofPotter’swords.Itwasoverwhelming.Almosttoooverwhelming.

Heslowlypulledback,drinkinginPotter’ssoftexpressionandthewarmthinhiseyes.

“Kindofparadoxical,isn’tit,”Dracosaid,knowinghewasabouttoruinthemoment,“thatyoucantellmesomethinglikethatandyetnotbelievemewhenItellyouthesame.”

“Doyou?”Potterimmediatelyasked.“Feelthesame?”

Andthereitwas.Thequestionofallquestions.ThemomentDracohadbeentryingtoavoidforMerlinknowshowlong.Therevelationhefinallyfeltreadyfor.Kindof.Notreally.Hewasaqueasymesstobehonest.But,hesupposed,sincetheywerealreadybeingdisgustinglysentimentalandall…

“DoyourememberthethirdtaskoftheTriwizardTournamentinfourthyear?”heasked,watchingasPotter’sfaceturnedfromanxioustoconfused.

“Um…yes?”

“WhenIsawyouwalkintothatmaze,Ihadastrangefeeling.Icouldn’tputmyfingeronitatthetime,itwasjust…myguttellingmesomething,Iguess,”Dracomurmured.“Andthenyoucameback…withDiggory’sbody.”HeheardPotterinhalesharply.“Itmademethink…Youcouldhavediedthatday.”Hepaused,tryingtogatherupthecouragetosaythenextwordswithoutsoundinglikehewasbeingchasedbyaDementor.“That…wasthefirsttimeIrealisedIhadfeelingsforyou.”

Potter’smouthfellopenandhelookedlikehewasgoingtosaysomething,whichDracochosetoignore.

“AndthenyoustarteddatingChang,”hescoffed.“IwantedtosnapyourneckwhenIfoundoutyouweredatingher.Itwas—”Hebithislip.Couldhereallydothis?Hewasalreadyfeelingoverwhelmed.HesearchedPotter’sfaceforanyindicationheshouldstoptalking.Hisdarkskinlookedashenandhewasobviouslyshocked.Ifanything,itencouragedDracotokeepgoing.“Andwhen—whenyoustarteddatingWeasley—”Hegulped.HehadneverintendedtotellPotteranyofthis.Maybeitwaspointless.Butmaybe,itwasexactlywhatPotterneededtohear.“WhenyoustarteddatingWeasley,Ihatedyousomuch.Icouldn’tconcentrateon—onwhatIwassupposedtodo.Butitalsomademereckless,because—becauseIknewI’dnevergetwhatIwanted.Itdidn’tmatteranyway.TheDarkLordwasabouttokillme,sowhatwasthepointinhoping?”Heletoutahumourlesslaughandshookhishead.“Andthen,youdefeatedhim.”HelookedPotterstraightintheeyewithoutblinking.“Youdefeatedhim,givingeveryoneasecondchanceforhappiness.Exceptme.”Heknewhewasn’tbeingfair,butthiswashowhehadfeltbackthen.“Itriedtoavoidyouasmuchaspossible,butyou’resobloodystubbornandkepttryingtotalktome.Ijustcouldn’thandleit.”

PotterlookedasthoughDracohadjustpunchedhim.Heopenedhismouth,butbeforehecouldspeak,Dracoraisedhishand.

“IsweartoMerlin,Potter,ifyouinterruptmenow—”Hetookanotherdeepbreath.“Idon’tthinkIcansaywhatI—”Hequicklylookedsideways,everymuscleinhisbodytense.Foronce,Potterseemedtobedoingashewastold,stayingsilent.Drumminghisfingersagainsthisthigh,Dracobracedhimselfforthemostdifficultpartyet.“Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible,thatyoucouldlikemelikethat.Ever.AstoriaandI,we’vebeenfriendsforyears.Andeventhoughwearen’tinvolvedromantically,wedecidedgettingmarriedwasthebestoptionwehad.Herfamilywaspressuringhertofindahusbandandsettledown,andeventhoughmymotherdidnosuchthing,itwasverymuchimpliedshewaswaitingforanheir.Everythingwasgoingasitwassupposedto…untilyoustumbledintomylifeagain.”Herubbedhisfingertipsagainsthisforeheadasifthatwouldhelphimthink.“Itwasdifferentthanithadbeeninschool.Everythingwassuddenly…intensified.InevertoldAstoriahowIfeltaboutyou,but,funnilyenough,shealreadyknewwhenItoldherIwantedtocallofftheengagement.IguessitwasmoreobviousthanIthought.”

Thefollowingsilencewaspregnantwithmeaning.DidPotteralreadyknowwherehewasgoingwiththis?Washestilltryingtofigureitout?

“Um,canIsaysomething?”Potteraskedquietly.Withoutlookingathim,Draconodded.“Whydidn’tyoutellmeanyofthisbefore?”

Dracoarchedanincredulouseyebrow.“Forveryobviousreasons,Potter.LikeIsaid,Ineverthoughtyouwouldlikemelikethat,sowhatwasthepoint?”Itwasalmostphysicallypainfultosaythesewordsoutloud.Hispridewasbegginghimtostop.ButifhispridewasthepricehehadtopaytogetPottertofinallyseewhatadickheadhewasbeing,thensoitshallbe.“Ifinallyrealisedhowmychoicewouldaffectallthelivesofthepeopleinvolved,howunfairitwouldbe.IwouldrobAstoriaofthechancetofindtruehappiness,withsomeonewhotrulywantedtobewithher.TherewasatimewhenIthoughtwemightcometoloveeachother,but…thatwouldhaveneverhappened.Because—”Heballedhishandsintofists,tryingtostopthemfromshaking.Damnit!Itfeltlikehewasholdinghisheartinhishands,offeringittoPotter,hopinghewouldn’tcrushit.

“Because?”Potterechoed.

Dracoclosedhiseyes,hishearthammeringsoviolentlyinhischest,hethoughtitwasgoingtoburst.“Because—BecauseI’malreadyinlovewithsomeoneelse.”

ApartofDracowasdyingtoseethereactiononPotter’sface.Buthecouldn’tbringhimselftoopenhiseyes.HejumpedwhenheheardPottermakeachokingsoundandfelthimsqueezehishand.