分卷阅读43（1 / 2）

“Idon’twantittobeliketheDursleys.Nothinglikethem.Itwas—therewasnever—”Hesqueezedhiseyesshutandthoughtaboutshinyfloortilesandcrystalglassesandblindinglights,expensivecoucheswhosecushionsdon’tseemveryinvitingandacupboard,alwayscomingbacktothecupboard,thewaythedustwouldfallintohiseyeswhenpeoplewalkedthroughthestairsandhowsinceheneverknewwhattimeitwas,hecouldtrickhimselfintothinkingthatthehourswerereallydays,months,years,lifespinningoutinfrontofhimwithouthimevergettingtoliveit.“Itwaslikelivinginaglasshouse.Likeifyoutalkedtooloud,youwouldbreakit.”

“Likeyouweresuffocating,”Dracosaid,anditremindedHarrythattheywerebuildingthishometogether.ThatDracohadhisownthingsthathewastryingtopullawayfrom.“Liketherewasneveramomentthattheyweren’twatching.”

“ButIdon’twantthis,either.”Harrysaid,becauseeventhoughtheyhaddonetheirbesttomakeitseemlikeaplacetheycouldlivein,itwasjustfilledwithtoomanymemories.“Iwantsomewherethathasmorelight.”

“Light.”Dracopickeduphisquillagainandstaredatthefirelikeheregrettedthrowingawayhisnewspaper.“Icanworkwithlight.”

“Tellmewhatyouwant,”Dracosayslater,whisperingthewordsrightintohisearlikeit’ssomesortofsecret,andHarrycanbarelypayattentionbecauseofthewaythathishandsweremoving,searchinghimoutunderneaththecovers.“TellmewhatyouwantandIcangiveityou.”

Achairwiththestuffingcomingoutofthecushions.Hermione’safghansstackedupinabasketwekeepinthecorner.Abigfrontporchwithrockingchairs,agardenofftothesidethatwon’tgrowinrowsnomatterhowhardwetrytomakeit.Mismatcheddishesinthesinkandakitchentablescorchedfromyourconstantlyoverflowingpotionsandfreshbakedbreadintheovens,theradioalwaysturnedonlowsowecandancewhenthemoodstrikesusandabigpicturewindowinourbedroom.Andmaybeadog,too,anolddogwithabumlegthatwegetfromamuggleshelter,theonethathadbeentheresolongthatithadgivenuphopethatanyonewasgoingtolovehim,wecanbetheonestorescuehim,can’twe?It’dbeagoodlife,that.

“Nothing,”iswhathesays,becauseallthatwouldtaketoolongandwouldkillthemoodandmaybeHarrystilldoesn’tthinkit’sgoingtohappen,anyways.“Justyou.”

He’sstartedwalkingthroughthehouseagain.

See,thethingaboutmovingonthatHarrydidn’tknowisthatit’ssortofjustanotherwordforgoodbye,whereyouhavetoloosenyourgriponallthosememoriesthatyou’reafraidofforgettinginordertokeepfacingthefuture,inordertokeepputtingonefootinfrontoftheother.Anditshouldbeeasy,intheory,butthatwasbeforeyoutakeintoaccountallthethingsthathadhappenedinthismiserableoldbuilding—howitwastheonlysafespotfortheminthewar,thepartywhenRonandHermionewereprefects,GeorgeandFredtogether,whereRemusandTonksfellinlove,whereSiriuswas.

Sometimes,ifHarryisnotcareful,hecantrickhimselfintothinkingthathewillturnacornerandseethemwatchinghim,waitingtoseeifhehadliveduptotheherothattheyhadtakenhimtobe.Sometimes,hewantstoripthishousedownwallbywallandbrickbybrickinthehopesthatoneofthemwillgettogofree.Sometimes,hethinksofstandinginthedoorwayandscreamingthatheissorry,justincasethereisanychancethattheywouldbeabletohear.

Heisnotsureifhe’sreadytoleavethemallbehind.

“Youdon’thavetogetridofit.”

HarryjumpsatthesoundofDraco’svoice.He’dbeencaughtinthemiddleofstaringattheplacewheretheportraitofSirius’motherusedtohang.

“Andwhywouldn’tIgetridofit?”

“Becauseyou’reoneoftheluckypeoplewhocanaffordtobuyahousewithoutsellingtheoldone.”Dracotiltedhishead,lookingattheemptyspace,maybethinkingofhowheshouldredothewallpapersoyoucannoteventellwherethepicturehadbeen.“Toomanymemoriesheretojustwalkaway.”

“Idon’twantit.”

TheideaofkeepingitwasmetwitharevulsionsostrongthatifHarryhadhadanydoubtsaboutmovingoutbefore,hewouldn’thaveanynow.

“Thendonateittothehistoricalsociety,letitbeturnedintoamuseumformerlin’ssakes.”DracoclutchedHarry’sfingersinhisown,likethatwouldmakehimlisten.“AllI’msayingisthatyoudon’towethisplace,oranythinginit,anymoreofyou.Youdon’thavetofigureoutanythingnow,andyoudon’thavetodoitalone,remember?I’mhere,forgood.”Hewashere.Here,anddespiteeverything,notrunningaway.Harrykeepsexpectinghimto.“Don’tletthiswartakeanotherpieceofyou.”

Harrywishesitwerethateasy.