“I’mnottryingtotortureyou,”Dracosaidsoftly,squeezingPotter’shand.“Ijustwantyoutorealise—Hey.”HeputafingerunderPotter’schin,unwillingtolethimavoidhisgaze.“Doyouknowhowironicthisis?I’mtheonewithalltheflaws.”Hisfacetwistedindisgustathisownwords.“I’mtheone…whodoesn’tdeserveyou.”
Pottermadeachokingsound.
“Yes,yougavemethosescars,”Dracocontinued,hischesttighteningasPotterletoutamuffledwhimper,“butyoudiditbecauseofthis.”HeheldouthisleftarmwheretheDarkMarkwasstillvisible.IthadfadedaftertheDarkLord’sdeath,buttherewasnowayofhidingit.“ThisisaconstantreminderofthemistakesImade.Ihavetolookatthiseveryday.ButIcan’tchangethepast.Ittookmealongtimetounderstandthat.AndittookmeevenlongertorealiseIdon’thaveto.Buildinganewlife,whenallyouhaveasafoundationareruins,isn’teasy.Butit’snotimpossible.”
Thistime,itwasDracowhocouldn’tholdPotter’sgaze.Hestaredattheirjoinedhandsinhislap,feelinglikeafool.
“Yousoundlikeacheesymotivationalquote,”Pottermuttered,andDracocouldalmosthearahintofasmileinhisvoice.“I’msorry,Draco,”hesaidafteramoment,soundingmuchgloomier.“I’msorryfor…whatIdidtoyou.”
“Iknowyouare.I’msorry,too.”
“Um…”Potterhesitated,butDraconoticedhishandwascreepingovertohis.“CanI—CanItouchthem?”
Dracofeltaninstantrushofpanicshootthroughhim.Noonehadtouchedhisscarsbefore.But,givenwhattheymeanttohim,therewasprobablynobetterpersonbutPottertobethefirst.Itwasalmostasthoughtheyhadcomefullcircle.
Keepinghisfaceasstoicaspossible,henodded.
Potterwashesitantasheliftedhishand.Withatouchsofeatheryitalmosttickled,hetracedthelongestscaronDraco’schest.
“IthoughtSnapemadesureitdidn’tscar,”hemutteredquietly.
“Iguessitwouldhavebeenworseifhehadn’t—”HebrokeoffwhenPottersnatchedawayhishandandlookedathiminhorror.“Sorry.ButIguessthere’snosugarcoatingit.Buthey,atleastyoudidn’tgetmyface.Younearlydid,though.”Dracoturnedhisheadandpushedhishairoutoftheway.Heknewyoucouldonlyseeitifyoulookedclosely.Thatscarhadfadedthemostanditwastiny.Butitwasthere,onhisrightcheek,rightnexttohisear.
DracoshiveredinadvertentlywhenPotter’sfingerbrushedhisskin.
“You’renotgoingtobeatyourselfupaboutthisagain,areyou?”hemuttered,suppressingtheurgetoleanintoPotter’stouch.
“It’shardnotto,”Potterretorted.
“LikeIsaid,Potter,thesescarsarepartofthepast.Butthey’realsopartofwhoIamtoday.They’reagoodreminder,youknow.”
HehopedPotterwasabletohearthefinalityinhisvoice.Asmuchashewantedtohelphim,hedidn’twanttotalkaboutthisanymore.HehadalreadytoldPotterhedidn’tdeservehim.Whatelsewastheretosay?
HedrewhislowerlipbetweenhisteethwhenPottershiftedcloser.Forabreathtakingmoment,hethoughthewasgoingtokisshim.Instead,PotterranhisfingersthroughDraco’shairandgavehimapiercinglook.
“Idothinkyou’rebeautiful,but…”Hetwistedastrandofhairaroundhisfinger.“Ilikeyoubecauseyou’reyou.”
It’sfunny,isn’tit,howyoucangothroughlife,managetoleteachdaypassandcometotermswiththefactthatnoonewilleverfeelacertainwayaboutyou,acceptthatyourdeepestdesireisoutofreach,notyourstohave.Sowhatdoyoudowhenthatsuddenlychanges?
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